How is it February 1, 2011? I mean really. I had this great idea and plan. I was going to blog once a week in January about first. Like Tanner's Deer. And my first real fast.First time to really admit we made a mistake..... And my first time to ever take care of a parent. It was going to be good. And now here it is February and well it doesn't seem so cool anymore. So I guess I will just give you snippets of what was going to be...........
We talked to our life group about having a fast. We all agreed to meet every night for a week. To worship, pray and seek the Lord. What you fasted or didn't was up to you and your family. I actually did it for the first time. Now I am very familiar with fasting. We have done many fasts. Our last church Trinity in Dallas we fasted church wide twice a year. So I am used to them. But honestly I have never fully participated. See I was always pregnant or nursing. So I had to eat. I mean I was the source for my babies. But anyway this time I had no excuse. I tried to make them:) I was blown away. I have never denied myself for that long and I saw Jesus. I saw him and spoke to him and loved every minute of it. Well not every minute of the hunger but every minute of being in his presence. It was so incredible to be so close to him. If you have not ever fasted. I challenge you to pray and seek the Lord and ask him if you should. Because with out him you will not succeed.
Mistake:
What are you thinking???
Well let me just tell you so you don't have to wonder. We made a HUGE mistake when we decided to have Bryce fixed. We thought that was what we wanted. I was so DONE having kids. My body was tired and honestly I was being really selfish. Now before you throw tomatoes at me. We did have some valid reasons. Like the fact that after loosing our Precious Henry. I almost died. Twice. Now that is a reason. But as we have seen over time it really wasn't reason enough. You see because I trust the Lord. So even if I would have died it would have been his plan. I don't mean to be all morbid. But I Completely trust my Maker. He knows it all and has a plan that I am just involved in. So the action of cutting off his blessings makes us sick today. We want another baby or 2 or 3. Who knows we just know that Children are a Blessing from the Lord. No matter what the world says. So my dear, sweet, wonderful friends......PLEASE I BEG YOU...DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. Am I saying become the next Duggars? Well if that is what the Lord has planned then yes if not then no. But we have a Lord that loves us so much. He gave his only son so we could live, and Love his Blessings!!
Taking care of MOM:
Well we have had the opportunity of taking care of Mom. We have had her since November. She has official been here 11 weeks. How has it been you ask? Well you want the pretty picture or the truth? I must give you the truth I love you all too much. It has been a challenge. The beginning although it is now a blurr was very very difficult. I was being stretched like never before. I had 5 children in my home and one(mom)was like an infant. Not because she wanted to be. But truly out of a need. I would have to wake up in the middle of the night half asleep to take her to the bathroom. I had to bathe her. Make all her meals help her get to and from the table. Wash all of her clothes and bedding. It was HARD. I don't want to have to do it again anytime soon. But I have learned so much about myself and my family. Some of it isn't so pretty. Like my lashing out on all of them because I was so tired or worn out. I yelled at all of them one time to be quiet. I said there is one of me to 5 of you give me a break. Well that was the ugly. I was ugly. My mom did not want to sit in a wheelchair and depend on me. But she did need me. There were times when Bryce would just hug me and then demand that I go to sleep. My husband slept on the floor next to mom. So he did not have to wake me. He is amazing. Then we got her into a room with a bed and it got a little better. Then she walked and boy did that change things......My kids were so happy for her. It has been a really amazing time. I am so thankful that the Lord allowed us to help mom during this time. I am even so thankful for all the hard. I am thankful that my kids have had life lessons that you can not get through a textbook. They have leaned first hand to love and serve. I have seen my family grow in this experience and it makes my heart smile. Now I am not tooting our horn saying we have done it all right. Because we have not. But I do believe that Lord is happy with us. His servants.
So there you have it friends just a little recap of our lives lately. Have a wonderful day.
Love,
Vicki
4 comments:
Love you so much my friend. He works ALL things together for good.
Girl, that is so much growth for 1 month! I think you could have filled a post a day! So amazed at who you are and that you dig into knowing God. A privilege to be your friend.
Vicki, God is glorified in your humility and willingness to admit your mistake. You may never know the eternal impact your words will have. I am so impressed with you.
Gretchen and I have both talked about regrets, wishing we hadn't wasted so much time in having kids and spacing our kids just so. It's all the same lack of faith in God. How is it that we distrust the One who created the world?
You are living the Word: Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Romans 12:2
Oh vick! Sometimes growth seems so hard but our maker know we need it. I can't tell you how my heart hurts from past regrets but isn't our testimony of of those regrets a way to help the next generation. Our children learn not only by their mistakes but ours. I can't tell you how many times I've told all my children to have lots of babies. I can really relate to the cutting off your blessings. I wouldn't have half my children if I didn't believe in our faithful God. He knows your heart and your desires and will direct your path, should you choose to have a reversal. I've thought of having one daily!
Tino and I have been slipping into a lot of things, more than I care to share with anyone at this time. I know all about regrets, opening doors that should have NEVER been opened, and trying to deal with the aftermath now that their wide open. It's a special time I think for major growth and tremendous faith!
Love you my friend!
Post a Comment