Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Just a year ago.




Just a year ago this is what our children looked like. We were happy and just trucking along with life. I was in school Paris Junior College, Bryce was working hard and we were getting home school done. Kids grow up way too fast. These were my babies just one year ago. Don't tell Colin and Tanner but yes I refer to ALL of them as my babies. And they will be forever. It's just a mama thing. We all do it. It's OK too. And then in May we found out we were to be expecting #5. I was shocked, and kind of mad really. But the Lord helped me get over myself and we were so excited about the addition to our family. The kids were all pulling for a brother. Lucy would say I want the brother kind. And the boys just wanted more testosterone in the house. We were all so excited to think about a baby in the new year. Then in August we lost him. It was a boy. We named him Henry Willis after Bryce's grandparents. Her name was Geraldine Henry,and his Jack Willis. So we used their middle names. I have had that name in my back pocket for someday. He was so incredibly cute. He was waving good bye, and blowing me a good bye kiss. It was the hardest thing we have ever walked through in our marriage. But God has sustained us. Our arms are empty. He was due in just a few short days. These will be hard for me as two of my friends are also due. BUT I can truly say with a clear heart that I am so incredibly happy for their families. Sure I would like to be going into labor too, but it was not God's will for me. It is well with my soul. I will see my boy again one day. And the hope of spending time with him is real. He is having more fun in heaven, and loving Jesus. I am a bit jealous actually. So I guess the point of this post is to Trust God. He loves us more than we can imagine. And even in the times we hurt he is there. Actually he was never more alive to me than in August. He literally held me up, holds my hand still, and is healing me. Thanks for letting me share my heart today:))

5 comments:

Andra said...

Awww sweetie. Thank you for putting all that into perspective and opening my eyes. Actually, Henry is a name we are considering (it's a family name, too). I will think of you and the blessed four hours we spent in line. God bless you, honey!

Kelly said...

That was beautiful! You are a great strength to anyone who has or will walk in your steps. Thank you for sharing.

Patti said...

Bless you and your family for being an instrument that God is able to use for His glory!!

Mary Beth said...

We all would have loved to meet and love on Henry Willis Miller! and you're right...we will one day soon! :) Vicki, for the short time Henry was with us, he was blessed! He was blessed because he had a wonderful mother to lovingly carry him in her womb until the Lord took him to be with HIM in Heaven. We love you and Bryce and the kids so much. You are always in our prayers, but special prayers will definitely be spoken as you experience this milestone in your life! The Lord loves you more than you or I will EVER be able to comprehend. My lesson in Children's Church last week was "God will never leaves us nor forsake us - He is always with us!"

Shipra said...

oh Vic,
this was a beautiful post. So touching. I can't imagine having to hold onto and then let go of my child.

LIfe is so full of unexpected twists. I am glad that you were able to feel God's strength holding you up.